When was the last time you had a real conversation? I mean one that meant something, where you said what you really wanted to say. False conversations are one’s where we hold back on something, it could be a thought, it could be an attribute of our personality. Whatever we’re holding back is something that we think the other person would react negatively to and that reaction would bother us. In a real conversation we’re being vulnerable and that can be uncomfortable. This year I’ve been privileged to facilitate some real conversations and the rewards for those involved were huge.
At this time of year there are reviews of performance at work, dinners with colleagues and even more with various family and friends. So how many of theses conversations will be real and how many will involve smoke screening, passing on gossip, being overly polite or counting the minutes till it’s OK to leave?
Often the exact reward of having a real conversation is unknown but the cost of not having it is – what are your unreal conversations costing you, the team, the business, your family? Perhaps what’s at stake would be worth being vulnerable for.