This year some of my conversations and work with my clients have encompassed the power of our identity and our story, or script, that we unconsciously let shape our life and consequently our leadership.
Right now, I’ve just relocated from Cheshire to Cornwall, a vision that’s become reality about 2 years earlier than I thought it would. Which means that it comes with several challenges, as well as lots of good stuff. You must seize opportunities when they present themselves and have faith that you’ll figure out the gaps as you go, imperfect action beats no action. Plus, there is nothing like pushing yourself to new frontiers to reveal how you sabotage yourself and how your sense of identity enables you to achieve something or not.
If you can hold the silence with yourself long enough, you’ll hear the quiet voice running the script of your life. “people like us don’t do this.” “this is easy for me, I’ve always succeeded at this” “are you crazy lady, not all of the pieces of the puzzle are sorted yet”. This Script has both positive and negative components to it, and its over-riding intention is to keep you safe in life.
Silence your saboteur
The thing is when we’re pushing new frontiers, when we’re going for our vision then very often our script and sense of identity needs to shift. And we have to silence our saboteur so we can do the necessary work.
By now you’ll have your goals, intentions, and desires mapped out for this year. So, this is the perfect time to take a look at writing your script for this year and beyond.
In essence, it’s that simple, you simply write the script for your future. A little like writing a chapter of a book. 2019 is a chapter in your life, put pen to paper and write it down, then go out and live it. If in December it doesn’t quite match up, you have information you can do something with. You have the capacity to course correct. If you don’t write it down, then you have no idea what or where you could improve. What you will do is live 2019 according to the current and probably ancient script you have about yourself. This could even be the script that was handed to you by your parents. Which might even be one that was handed down to them by theirs. Now I’m all for heirlooms and I’m not sure that this one is always the most valuable.
Ways we sabotage ourselves
One of the most common ways we sabotage our self is by being too busy, tired, distracted to actually write things down. Your script doesn’t have to be war and peace or worthy of the Pulitzer Prize. Really quite frankly anything (like bullet points) is better than nothing. That said, how much do you value your life, your self, the goals and vision you’re going for? If the answer is not much, then quick, look busy and distract yourself now.
We also sabotage our self when we write vague things down. Use bold words, ones that inspire and ignite you. Here are a couple of illustrative examples. Just read the difference between I am a woman, I am a successful woman, I am a loving, imaginative, vibrant woman. This isn’t about your ego, it’s about proclaiming who you are in a way that makes you feel alive. The same goes for writing about achievements, get specific. I’ll make a profit, I’ll make six figures, I’ll make 143,000 pounds, euro’s and dollars thank you very much. There is a lovely phrase, “you have to name it to claim it”. Until you do it’s all wishy-washy. What’s more, you can never own something until you first claim it. So name it, claim it and then gratefully own it.
Count your self in, live life large
Many of us want to be happy and have meaning in our life. We’re seeking to make a difference to those we interact with. To the extent that we play small and faff about we’re limiting our capacity to experience what we desire. We’re also shortchanging those we lead.
I love my work with leaders helping them play full out. I also know there are only so many leaders and teams I can work with. So I’m also enjoying the challenges of writing a book, so I can be of service to more people and it can help them in some capacity too.
I’m also re-thinking how I can best support leaders to be resilient, authentic and fearless. Which means I’ve been practicing what I preach. I’ve been rewriting my script, my sense of self, I’m silencing my saboteur and on that last point sometimes I’m more successful than others. He can be a crafty little critter.
Look back at your vision or your goals for this year. To what extent do they ignite you enough to say I’m prepared to play full out?
Set aside 5 mins every week to remember your vision, re-commit to your goals and run through the next chapter of your life. Make any improvements you want. (Notice I said improvements, this is not the opportunity for your saboteur to have its wicked way and diminish your future.) Then go off and do whatever you’re inspired to do.
You may also become aware of the kinks in your current script that need sorting. Some of which you may resolve yourself and others you may want help with. It’s one of the ways I help my clients get their desired results faster than they otherwise would.
Have a totally ‘awesome’ month, one that’s jaw-droppingly good.
You never know if you like it enough you could have yourself another one next month. Mine is just crammed full. Unpacking boxes, creating my new home, book writing, client sessions, creating a new programme as well as making preparations to celebrate the entering of a new decade of my life. So for me, March is going to be just fab-u-lous and I might even share some of my thoughts regarding turning 50 in a future post.
In the meantime, here’s to playing full out leading and living your best life.