Conversations leaders should be having

Came across this post about President Obama’s first 100 days.  http://www.fierceinc.com/blog/?p=56 I recommend you read it all (it’s not long).

Here’s an extract from the post ….

• Engage in fierce conversations from the very beginning.
• Have conversations during which those at the table come out from behind themselves into the conversations and make them real.
• Surface mokitas (a Papua New Guinea word for “that which everyone knows and no one speaks of”) and finding out what they’re made of.
• Raise the bar on the degree of boldness, openness, transparency, collaboration and cooperation at all levels within the administration.
• Send the internal and external signal that this administration will not be conducting business as usual.

…… obviously it’s written from the perspective of presidency.  Yet this equally applies to the leadership of an organisation.

I wonder how often do we as leaders have real, meaningful conversations with everyone involved with the success of the organisation (so that’s not just the employees then).   How often do you do all the above?  Would it be every conversation, once a day, only with those we feel are on our side?  And what stops us from having them?

Conversations appear so simple, yet if they’re not real aren’t we just short changing those involved?

Look forward to hearing your thoughts….

 

Getting a job that matters to you

Wow, I’m still on a high after Friday.  The event “Getting a Job with Meaning” was a huge success, with everyone discovering useful insights and feeling more confident than ever about themselves.  Which in the current climate is a great asset.  I got to share my views on job fulfillment and walk my talk, because I was experiencing it as I was teaching it.  Plus filming and recording went really well and the product should be ready to go by mid October. 

Thank you to everyone involved, especially the attendees - you were amazing.

 

Real conversations

When was the last time you had a real conversation?  I mean one that meant something, where you said what you really wanted to say.  False conversations are one’s where we hold back on something, it could be a thought, it could be an attribute of our personality.  Whatever we’re holding back is something that we think the other person would react negatively to and that reaction would bother us.    In a real conversation we’re being vulnerable and that can be uncomfortable.  This year I’ve been privileged to facilitate some real conversations and the rewards for those involved were huge.

At this time of year there are reviews of performance at work, dinners with colleagues and even more with various family and friends.  So how many of theses conversations will be real and how many will involve smoke screening, passing on gossip, being overly polite or counting the minutes till it’s OK to leave?

Often the exact reward of having a real conversation is unknown but the cost of not having it is - what are your unreal conversations costing you, the team, the business, your family?  Perhaps what’s at stake would be worth being vulnerable for.

Be Yourself

How much of yourself do you bring to work each day?

This happened to be one of the questions I asked a client recently.  The answer wasn’t anywhere near 100% or all of me.  So we explored the bit that didn’t come to work and why.

Years ago a colleague I worked with handed in her notice.  The boss was surprised and really wanted her to stay "why are you going?" he asked "because I have a PhD, and every day I arrive at work and leave my brains in the car park.  I won’t do that to myself anymore."  He wanted to know what changes they needed to make so she could use her brains.  She pointed out that leaving them in the car was a safety precaution so she could remain sane working for this particular organisation.

From a  different perspective many people put on their work clothes as if it were some kind of armour behind which certain traits can hide.  In some instances people pretend to be something they’re not.  Often the underlying fear is that if they showed their true self that people won’t like them.  Have the confidence to be yourself, knowing that then the people who do like you, like the real you ,and you’re not deceiving anyone anymore, least of all yourself.

I think this sums it up nicely.

"When you stand in that sliver of space that is completely and utterly YOU, then you will be truly magnificent, wonderful and abundant" Joseph Riggio

Try

"There is no such thing as try, only do or do not do" Yoda

Now he is a Sage (following on from my archetype post).  Anyway back to the word ‘Try’; a wonderful word that says reason for not doing it is already in the bag.  "I’ll try and get that report to you by Friday", is very different from "I’ll get it to you by Friday", the latter is confidence, certainty, promise.  Most of us hate to break promises so we hesitate and try is that word that isn’t disobedient or confrontational. 

Observe yourself, are you saying try because you’ve never done X before; are you saying try because you don’t want to do X.  What’s the reason that you already know which would stop you completing X?

If you want to walk you talk, live a more authentic life, then quit trying.  Either decide to do something, go for it 100%, get the feedback and make any course corrections.  Alternatively decide not to do it.  Trust me, whichever you decide it’ll free up your energy.